Style Your Wardrobe: The "Skinny" on jeans

I have a confession to make. When it comes to current fashion trends, I am usually a day late to the party. I have in the past scoffed at trend reports and swore up and down that I would never wear an article of clothing just because it was "trending". I snickered and gossiped about designers who sashayed into the office in the most ridiculous of outfits and then in the end caved to the evil dictators of the fashion world. This brings me to the ever so popular "skinny" jean.

J.Crew $98 - "matchstick"

I wish this trend would retreat back into the vault and rear its ugly head when I'm old and grey and don't care what I look like? Why is the fashion industry so cruel to us fuller figured gals? A side note to the skinny girls who look fabulous in them - please take an hour or two to dine at an "all you can eat" buffet and check back in when you've gone up a size. So back to my question, why do the fashion gods insist on torturing our inner beauty for the sake of style?
So as history repeats itself, I am going to surrender once again and begin the search for the perfect "skinny" jean. I will haul 15 pairs in 3 different sizes and 5 different washes with descriptions such as "slightly skinny", "ultra skinny", "curvy skinny", and my all time favorite the "matchstick skinny". I can already tell you after the 3 sugar cookies I just ate, the "matchstick" and I are not going to go home together.
If any of you reading this (must be a size 8 or above) have found a fabulous pair that you think make you look like Heidi Klum, please do share. I'm posting a few possibilities as well. For those of you that already have 3 pairs and sport the over the knee boot like a Hollywood starlet - do me a favor, would you please eat a cookie before you go to bed.